Stranger things have happened
by Kontradiction
Summary: A higher being takes over Hikari's body with the intent of rewriting the end of season 02. (something we all want to do) eventual Kensuke & Taito


Stranger things have happened, or 'The indiscrete way of fixing season two.'  
  
~Authors Note~ I've decided to write this like it's part of the actual TV show. Who knows, I might even have commercials later on. I don't own Digimon or anything else. The body snatcher in this story is actually my little sister, who started yelling at the TV at the end of season two. Who hates homosexuals, but still thinks Ken and Davis are destined to be together. This one's for you Billy Bullfrog. Luv K-Chan.  
  
(Start Song) ~Body Napped!!~  
  
I must still be asleep. Thought Kari as she drifted above her body. Swirling golden sparkles shone from under her body's skin. Her soft brown eyes snapped open. "You ain't dreaming Chick-pea." She drawled. "W-what's going on?" She asked. Kari stared in horror as her body sat up and smirked at her. "Oh come now! It's pretty simple, I've temporarily commandeered your body to save the viewers of the future years of trauma and frustration." She paused, a considering look passed over her stolen face. "Then again, if you let that little hottie, Davis Motomiya, get away you can't be all that smart!" "I don't understand. Who are you? What is so terrible that you had to come and change it?" Asked Kari. Perhaps she should be flattered that this being had chosen her body to preform this great task. "My name is Amber. Let's see, you remember that being that took control of your body in the Digital World, a few years back? Well, she's my sister and every hundred years she goes on a vacation. So, I'm runnin' the show 'till she gets back." She gave Kari a roughish grin. "But what's this thing you have to stop?" Pressured Kari. Amber shuddered. "Do I have to say it? Oh all right! Ken ends up marrying Yolei! UH!!" She began to frantically dust herself off, as if she were covered with hundreds of gross spiders. "That's wonderful!" Exclaimed Kari happily. "But what's going to happen?" It was unnerving to have her own eyes stare at her. "What are you? Stupid?!!!" Shrieked Amber. "Everyone knows Ken and Davis are destined to be together!" Kari's eyes looked ready to pop out her head, "Ken and. Davis?" She squeaked. Amber snorted "You probably think it's cute how Matt and Sora and up getting married - " She was interrupted as Kari gave an excited squeal, "Cute!" "Yes." Drawled Amber, "And your brother marries an abusive bitch and is miserable for the rest of his life, before ending it." (Commercial break) Yamato is sitting in a plush red leather chair with a TV next to him on a blank, white set, like from The Matrix. He is wearing all black and looks very brooding and impressive. "Hi there, I'm Yamato Ishida. You probably know me from my work in Digimon, seasons one and two. But what you probably didn't know is that I like to drink lots of alcohol to keep my body in top shape. Before you say that Gatorade will do the same thing, I'd like to show you the difference." He uses a remote to turn on the TV. On the screen is Goku from Dragon ball Z standing on King Kai's planet. Yamato: "This is my friend Goku, he drinks Gatorade. Let's see what happens." Goku turns to see Bubbles the monkey. "Oh, hello! You must be King Kai. I'm here to train under you." Bubbles makes a monkey noise and begins to run around, Goku tries to copy him. (The screen goes black) Yamato shakes his head. "Sad isn't it?" The screen changes and shows Misato from Neon Genesis. She is making out passionately with Kaji. Yamato: "This is my friend Misato. Like me she drinks Yezbie beer." He turns off the TV. "Who would you rather be?" Yamato holds up a can of Yezbie. "Remember Life's more fun if you've got Yezbie!" (End commercial) "W-what?" She stuttered, sure she hadn't heard correctly. Tai couldn't. He wouldn't . "I would ask if you were blind, but since I'm in your body I can tell that you aren't; you're just stupider than I first thought, Chick pea! I'll say it slowly so it can sink in." She began to speak slowly as if to a small child. "Taichi - is - in - love - with - Yamato!" "When did this happen?" Amber shrugged "He already had feelings for Matt when they first came back to find the eighth Digidestined, he just didn't understand them. Then, when Metal Garurumon and War Greymon DNA Digivolved Tai and Matts hearts beat at the same time. I'm not sure if Matt noticed, but Tai sure as hell did! That's when he realised he loved Matt and he's kept it a secret ever since." Kari was shocked into silence. Amber stretched and climbed out of bed. "My sis said not to meddle in the matter." She began to rummage through Kari's wardrobe, "But I just couldn't help myself." She turned to look at Kari, "Don't you have any decent clothes? And where're all your G-strings?" Kari sniffed indignantly, "There's nothing wrong with the clothes I wear and only tramps wear G-strings." Amber opened Kari's under wear draw. "I'll let that one slide, cause I'd be pissed too, if someone stole my body. If I had one." She gave a pair of cotton knickers and a sports bra a shake, turning them in to a matching set of hot pink sequined, padded push up bra and G. "No offence, but fuck you're flat, Chick pea!" Kari spluttered indignantly while Amber got dressed for school. A shirt with an adorable lady bug on the front shimmered and melted into a skimpy halter-neck with 'Guns don't kill people, I kill people' printed over the chest. Her yellow spandex shorts were changed into hot pink pleather bum- pants that sat just below her hips and her sneakers were transformed into pink sweigh, thigh-high pumps with white and pale violet butterflies embroided up the sides. "You're not going out in my body dressed like that!" Shrieked Kari. "Of course not! You know I really love these gloves. The most tasteful thing you own, in my opinion." Amber pulled on the aforementioned gloves. "I have to put make-up on first, Chick pea!" Kari's bedroom door was flung open and Tai burst in. "Kari! Have you seen my-?!" He broke off staring at the two Kari's. (Commercial break) Bulma from DBZ is standing in front of an open elevator. "And I urge you, be on time!" The doors close and Yolei is standing in the packed elevator. "Urge? Urge?"  
  
Music: "She's got the urge! The urge to herbal!" The five pilots from Gundam Wing appear out of nowhere and begin to wash Yolei's hair, while she makes erotic noises. "Yes! Yes!" She shakes her now shining (But still lavender) hair. "YES!!" Yolie walks out the elevator and the doors close. Mrs Kamiya steps in front of the G-Boys. "You boys aren't going anywhere." She husks. The five boys exchange horrified looks. Screen freezes and Joes voice can be heard: "Herbal essence; for a totally organic experience!" (End commercial) "Tai! Thank God!" Exclaimed Kari tearfully. "Quick, stop her Tai! She's stolen my body!" Amber smiled, "Hey, Big Bro!" Tai continued to stare. "You're not actually going to wear that to school?!!" He finally managed to get out. "Hello?! I've just been body napped and you're talking about her fashion sense?" She was completely ignored. "It is a bit much isn't it?" Asked Amber, removing a small love heart hair clip Kari hadn't noticed. "But I thought it went with the outfit. Better now?" "Er, are you feeling okay?" "Peachy keen. Have you got any hair gel I can borrow?" Tai blinked. "No I don't use hair gel! My hair's like this naturally!" He said a little too quickly. "Ha! You think you're so smart, you didn't even know Tai doesn't use hair gel!" Amber placed her hands on her hips. "Can I just borrow that hair gel you secretly stole from Matt?" She snapped. "I mean, look at my hair! I look like a dyke, no wonder I don't have a boyfriend!" Tai appeared to have gone into shock. "Wh. I. Huh?" Amber gave an exasperated sigh. "Bloody hell! No wonder you two don't end up together; you're just as slow as your sister! You know the stuff hidden under your mattress next to your book of poems about Yamato and you smell it at night to remind yourself what he smells like." Kari was gaping at her brother. "H-he writes poetry about MATT?!!" "I-I-I'll go get it!" He squeaked crimson faced before bolting out the room. Amber began to laugh. "Gotta hand it to ya, Chick pea. That's some brother you've got. Dumb as a stump, but hot as hell!" "EWWWW!!! That's my brother you're perving on, in my body. You sicko!" Amber smirked. "That's right Chick pea! Your brother, not mine!" Kari had a sinking feeling. "So you're here to get Ken and Davis and Tai and Matt together? How exactly do you intend to do that?" Amber had an innocent smile on her face that clashed with her clothes. "Well since you asked so nicely. I'll simply drive them to each others comforting embrace. Your brother to Yamato and Daisuke to Ken." "Meaning what?" "If the two were to have really horrible experiences, the other two would surely comfort their best friends. And there's many ways to comfort someone." Kari backed away in horror. "You're crazy! I have to warn them!" Amber shrugged, seemingly calm. "You're a spirit now, you can't touch or talk to anything or anyone. I'm sorry Chick pea, that's the way it is."  
  
(Every thing freezes) Narrator: What are Amber's plans? Can Kari stop her before the end of season two is rewritten? I certainly hope so, or America will have my ass! Stay tuned for the next episode of Digimon; Digital monsters! (End credits)  
  
~End notes~ Uh, that didn't work out the way I'd planned. Soz Bill. Anyone else, tell me what you think! Keep reading the adds, they have a plot now. *Glare* Thanks a lot Dria!  
  
I never actually planned to poast this, but Dria + Lenni bear + Braided Baby wouldn't get off my back. So what the hell? If you don't like it then I won't write any more (*see guys I told you it sucked!*) And if you did like it . I'll get back to you on that one. 


End file.
